Thursday, May 28, 2009

Making My Home a Haven

I have been struggling lately as a SAHM, Housewife, Peace Keeper and Household Manager. I think we all go through this and if you don't please share your secrets...even if you do...share your secrets also.

I have learned some things from Joanne and Toben from their blog "Our Crazy Marriage" even though we don't struggle with illness like Toben has. I have learned that I need to make my home a Peaceful Haven for my family. What does Peaceful mean for my household in particular...laundry done and put up, ironing done, meals cooked, house clean, dog fed and watered, kids not arguing with each other and other things I can't think of right now.

How am I doing at making my home PEACEFUL?

NOT GOOD...Not Good at ALL. I've been off work for a year on the 1st and I haven't accomplished hardly anything that I want too. The house is a wreck, laundry needs to be done, did I say the house is a wreck, I'm overspending, the kids are always bickering, projects are not done. I put off the things that take a long time or aren't fun for me and that's not fair. DH works hard and he can't let things fall behind or there goes our why should my job be any different.

So what am I going to do about it?

Not Sure! I'm hoping I can get on more of a cleaning schedule and workout schedule, get down to no more than 2 Walmart trips therefore helping to curtail the spending, help the kids no what healthy disagreements are like and do better with the discipline. Any suggests from you all would be helpful.


Joanne (The Simple Wife) said...

I've loved your last two posts. You know, I think the first thing is deciding what you want. That's something Beth Moore talked about in Laramie last weekend--who do you want to be when you grow up? Then, keeping that in mind, go for the strict training required to get there.

You go, girl!

Amber said...

Girl, I hear you. Loud and clear. Accountability. Accountability. Accountability. I'll try to help you, if you try and help me!

Carpoolqueen said...

Have you seen my shower? I've been working at home for 10 years now, and the cleaning? Ugh.

I find when I do flylady and stick to it, my home is peaceful. And I have space to breathe and focus on other things I want to do. Taking care of that will help you take care of the other.

Carpoolqueen said...

Not that I've done that, BTW.

I'm preaching at myself in the above comment.

buscher3 said...

Try your own version of FlyLady. Set out your own schedule and stick to it. If you want to talk to someone that does it faithfully, talk to Mandy Grimm. She has her own little notebook and everything. Check out this post of hers!

Jessica said...

I ventured to your blog from the comment you left (and yes I love Garvan Gardens!) I know you've probably seen the Proverbs 31 website, but I receive the daily devotions via email and the one from yesterday really spoke to me. I just became a sahm a little less than a month ago and already find myself having the same feelings.
Here is the link, you should check it out!


lisa@littlesliceoflife said...

First, when I glanced at the title to your post I thought it said "Making My Home In Heaven" and I freaked out a little thinking you were dying or whatnot.

Second, accountability and responsiblity are very desirable but it's also important not to place unrealistic expectations on yourself. It's good to have reasonable goals but if you focus too much on what you HAVEN'T accomplished then you can't celebrate the things you HAVE accomplished.

Third, I love Nester's saying "It doesn't have to be perfect to be beatiful." She's referring to home decor but I think it applies to life in general. Life with small kids is messy. No way around it. Enjoy it because time is short. There's time for perfect housekeeping when they're grown.

Ok, I'm off my soapbox now. I hear you. I've struggled with this for years. I constantly have to remind myself of what's really important and just take a deep breath and enjoy each moment no matter how messy! (for example, right now Caitlin is wearing dirty shorts because they are her favorite and I haven't had time to wash them. And it's her birthday party. And there will be pictures. And some day I'll laugh when she's grown and I see these pics and remember the laundry battles. And I'll miss it.)

Mandy said...

Wow, thanks for the props Allison, but I've been falling off track lately myself.
I am dealing with insomnia, which comes is spurts for me, as well as 2 little boys who were both getting up multiple times a night for a while!
At least I am hosting Bunko soon, so that I HAVE to get motivated!

Steph, I feel like that so many times. Especially in the mom department. So what if the house isn't spotless, but I really need to be spending more quality time with my boys. Every night I go to bed, pledging to myself that it will be better the next day, only to fail again . . .

I want to wake up before the kiddos so I can have a head start, but when Sawyer wakes up before 6 and go have just been asleep 4 or 5 hours, it just rarely happens!

The most important thing is that I really need to be more faithful ready the Bible. I know that would help everything else fall into its proper place.

Kendra said...

The house doesn't have to be spotless, you don't have to be "Fly", it doesn't have to be perfectly decorated. You have little kids. I'm with Lisa, choose your battles and enjoy this messy time because the little ones won't be around forever.

I just have one kid but the kid makes a mess, he cleans it up. Before nap time and bed time, every toy is put away. Each toy has a place and it needs to go in there. He puts his dishes in the sink and his laundry in the basket. I'm not his maid, I'm his mama preparing him for the future.

I keep Clorox wipes, toilet bowl cleaner, a small broom and dustpan, and windex in every bathroom. I spiff them up each day very quickly. While Sam's going potty, I clean the sink. While he's in the tub, I clean the toilet. After I dry my hair I sweep up the sheds on the floor. That way, it's always almost clean, and I don't have to spend a whole hour scrubbing them each weekend because they never get that filthy. It's saved me a lot!

Laundry- do a load each day and get it over with.

As for Wal Mart, here's what I did when I lived in Arkadoo and I helped a LOT! I don't go there with any money, CC, or checks. Each month I'd buy a shopping card loaded with my monthly budget for that store. Several hundreds of $$$, but that's for a month. That's what I use to buy my stuff there. When the card runs empty before the month is over, I'm out of luck. So, it forces me to be wise about what I buy and saves from impulsive purchases.

As for projects around the house, pick one and get it done. You can eat an elephant only one bite at a time!

Becky said...

Kendra has some great tips! The toys, dishes and dirty clothes suggestion makes a huge difference esp in the way you feel about your house! After a few weeks it will become routine.

Great ideas for the bathroom and Wal-Mart! I do the cleaning once a week and usually put it off as long as possible....listening to my ipod makes it more enjoyable. I may try her way some too! About Wal-Mart.....I cringed when I read you comment....going more than once a week just about does me in!

Stephanie's Mommy Brain said...

I don't know about everyone else but I seem to have seasons or cycles of doing really well with my home and doing not so well (to put it nicely).

But, I'm finding my good cycles are starting to last longer and my not good cycles are starting to be shorter. :)

I also find my homemaking efforts are connected to my spiritual efforts. :)